By Popular Demand
by Red Witch
Summary: The Joes escort Xavier to his college reunion, but it's Shipwreck that turns out to be the big man on campus. Meanwhile the Xavier Insitute holds it's first student body presidential elections.


**No one wants to see the disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men or GI Joe characters. Just another insane fic I thought up. This fic was _not_ brought to you folks…**

**By Popular Demand**

"Wow, Professor…Storm you both look great," Scott remarked as Ororo and Xavier came out into the foyer of the Institute. Ororo was wearing an elegant black dress with diamond earrings and a diamond necklace with fancy shoes. Xavier was dressed very smartly in his best suit and tie.

"I agree," Hank nodded. "You and Storm will be the proverbial belles of the ball."

"It's not a ball Hank," Ororo told him. "It's the Professor's class reunion. I'm just going to keep him company."

"And I admit it wouldn't hurt my standings if an attractive woman such as Ororo is on my arm," Xavier made a sly grin.

"You're been hanging around Shipwreck too long," Ororo gave him a semi serious look.

"So is Dr. MacTaggert going as well?" Hank asked.

"Actually Moira was a year behind me at Oxford," Xavier explained. "She won't be attending but I will meet several other old classmates as well."

"It's going to be quite the affair," Ororo said.

"I know I read in the paper that this reunion will host one of Oxford's most prestigious classes it's ever had," Hank nodded.

"Really?" Scott was surprised. "You mean there are people more famous than the Professor attending?"

"I'm not the only notable that is going to attend," Xavier said. "Dr. Adele Burkhart will be there as well."

"Burkhart? Isn't she the scientist that caused that scandal way back in the Eighties?" Hank asked. "She was an American wasn't she?"

"Yes she was allowed into Oxford on a special visa," Xavier nodded.

"What kind of scandal?" Scott asked.

"She was a scientist working for the government who was none too pleased to discover that her research was being used to create weapons of mass destruction," Xavier explained.

"Oh yeah," Scott nodded. "I remember reading about that in Civics Class. She took on the government single handedly and started a major peace movement. Didn't she win a Nobel Prize or something?"

"Yes as did Randall Winkston the noted biologist," Xavier counted off. "Edmund Parsons the poet, Thornton Ingers and Emerson Duckson the chemists. Also the famed archeologist Jeffrey Black, Susan Idleson the botanist and the multimillionaire Aston Thinman."

"Isn't he that guy who owns all those airplanes and hotels overseas?" Scott asked.

"Yes, he's the European version of Donald Trump," Hank nodded. "Not to mention Lord Smythe-Smythe will be there."

"Isn't that the guy who got drunk at that royal wedding last year in Spain?" Scott asked. "And the year before that in Monaco? And the year before that in Great Britain?"

"Yes he always did have that reputation even in college," Xavier nodded. "But he's also a great humanitarian. He's donated money to hospitals all over the world. Then again he's stayed in quite a few of them due to his drinking binges so…"

"Great, sounds like he and Shipwreck are going to get along like a house on fire," Low Light quipped as he walked in with Shipwreck and Cover Girl. The men were wearing tuxedoes and Cover Girl was wearing a fancy gold dress.

"What are you doing here?" Ororo was stunned. "And why are you dressed up like that."

"We've been ordered to escort Professor Xavier to his college reunion tonight at Oxford University," Low Light explained.

"In England?" Shipwreck asked.

"No the Oxford University in downtown Burbank, California," Low Light said sarcastically. "Of course in England you nitwit! Where did you think we were going?"

"But why you?" Hank asked.

"Because SHIELD made a big deal about security and since technically the Misfits are responsible for the X-Men…" Cover Girl shrugged.

"No, I meant why you as in why **him?**" Hank pointed to Shipwreck. "They couldn't send **someone else?"**

"Because he was getting on everyone's nerves," Cover Girl told him.

"And you are here with him because…?" Hank asked.

"We lost a few games of rock, paper, matches," Low Light said.

"You mean rock, paper, scissors?" Hank raised an eyebrow.

"No, rock, paper, **matches!"** Low Light said. "It was Pyro's idea."

"Of course! How obvious!" Hank threw up his hands.

"Yeah you should really know about these things by now," Shipwreck told him.

"By the way what the hell is with all the banners?" Low Light asked. All over the walls were posters and banners. They had slogans like ICEMAN IS COOL! TABITHA IS DA BOMB! NIGHTCRAWLER FOR PRESIDENT! KITTY FOR PRESIDENT!

"Oh a couple days ago Kitty decides that maybe the Institute should have a student council like a regular school," Logan waved. "Naturally she thought she should be in charge."

"And everyone else objected, am I right?" Shipwreck asked.

"Got it in one," Logan sighed. "Long story short it's a five way race for President of the new student council."

"Who's running?" Low Light asked.

"Kitty, Kurt, Bobby, Tabitha, and Penny," Logan said.

"Those **five?**" Shipwreck asked. "That's all?"

"Well there was a write in vote for Lockheed but I don't think he's got much of a chance," Scott snickered.

"Wait a second," Low Light held up his hand. "Penny? **Penny?** How can **Penny **be running? She can't even write! Can she?"

"No, but she can make an X pretty well," Logan shrugged.

"Look I can see the others running but **Penny?"** Low Light asked. "What's her campaign slogan? A shredded squirrel in every pot?"

"And who would be **crazy** enough to put Penny's name on a ballot anyway?" Shipwreck asked. He looked at Low Light.

"La! La! La! La!" Pyro skipped into the room carrying a 'Vote for Penance' sign. "Good evening all!"

"At least we know she's got the psycho vote sewn up," Scott sighed. "Pyro were you the one who put her name on the ballot? Because since you don't go to this school you can't vote!"

"No, I'm just her campaign manager," Pyro said happily. "It was Jamie's idea to have her run."

"Multiple? Why would he put **her** name on the ballot instead of running himself?" Shipwreck asked. "It doesn't make sense."

"Actually it does now that I think about it," Scott groaned. "There was a little incident the other day with the mansion's security cameras, the cable system inside the house and several videos of a lot of the kids in embarrassing positions."

"Most of the students are still a bit miffed at him," Hank agreed.

"That also explains that comment I heard from Berserker about burning him in effigy," Cover Girl remarked. "Or was it just burning him period?"

"Could be me," Pyro said. "You know how I love to burn things."

"Tonight's their big debate night and after that they all get to vote," Scott told them.

"You're not voting?" Low Light asked.

"Students only and since Jean and I graduated high school already we don't count," Scott explained.

"I never thought you two **did** count! He he!" Pyro giggled.

"Pyro what's nine burning sticks times nine burning sticks?" Scott asked him.

"Oohh! That's a **tough **one!" Pyro began to think hard. "Five, seven…carry the two…"

"That'll keep him quiet for a few minutes," Scott sighed as Pyro moved to the side so he could calculate.

"Well I guess we're off," Shipwreck said. "Everybody get on board the Misfit Express."

"Wonderful," Ororo rolled her eyes. "Perhaps I should stay behind."

"Don't worry Storm we have everything under control," Hank nodded. Then he noticed something. "PYRO! NO! NO SETTING FIRES IN THE HOUSE!"

"But I need to count them in order to answer the question!" Pyro whined.

"Just make sure the mansion is still **standing** when we get back," Xavier rolled his eyes.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It wasn't long thanks to the Joe's teleportation watches that the adults were standing in a huge hall in England that was decorated with an air of immense wealth and good taste. "Whoa, ho ho…" Shipwreck whistled. "This place is fancy with a capital fan!"

"Yeah," Cover Girl looked at the guest list. "Wait a second Xavier. Something doesn't add up. According to this graduation list you must have been pretty young if you graduated in nineteen…

"I graduated high school at sixteen and completed college within two years," Xavier explained.

"Well la de dah," Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "At sixteen I entered the Navy and completed the College of **Life** by the time I was twenty one!"

"I hear a lot of people go there when they can't get into anywhere else," Cover Girl quipped at Shipwreck.

"This from the woman who dropped out of school at the **seventh grade** to become a model?" Low Light gave her a look.

"A **successful** model thanks to the stage mother from Hell," Cover Girl corrected. "It was her idea. To be fair I didn't exactly fight it at the time. Now that I think about it that was one of the few things we actually ever agreed on. But I did get my GED and graduated with top honors at Mrs. Phipps Beauty and Modeling Academy for Girls."

"Wow and I only graduated high school," Low Light remarked. "Of course everyone in my class graduated because of a little known loophole and that murder-suicide thing among a few teachers I had."

"Murder suicide?" Ororo startled.

"A love triangle between the Principal, his wife the math teacher and the male shop teacher gone horribly wrong," Low Light explained. "It didn't happen at school. It happened a grocery store outside of town in the freezer aisle. Of course the cops arrested the wife because nobody believed her story about her husband and his lover trying to kill themselves by freezing themselves in the frozen fish section. That and she had the ice pick in her purse."

"I can see why the three of you were chosen for this assignment," Xavier quipped. "You people are just going to blend right in aren't you?"

"Go ahead and laugh Xavier," Low Light said. "When we got into military service we got a lot of training and lessons in things you can't imagine and we passed with flying colors! Before I became a Joe I was one of the top military shooting instructors as well as a special agent with the Criminal Investigation Division."

"You were a **teacher?**" Ororo was stunned.

"A marksmanship instructor with one of the most successful classes of students the army's ever had," Low Light corrected her. "Ninety percent of my students went on become the cream of the crop in the Army. Again there were a couple of murder suicides but those people were warped **long **before they ever entered my classes. The court psychiatrist **proved** that."

Ororo looked at Xavier. _"Charles you know how you sometimes use the Misfits and the Joes as an example of mutant-human cooperation?" _Ororo asked through a telepathic link established by Xavier. _"You might want to consider looking for **other **examples." _

_"Believe me Ororo, I've been **trying**…" _Xavier sighed as he saw Shipwreck look at himself in the mirror trying to clean his teeth by scratching his fingernails on them. _"And I will **keep** trying!" _

"Shipwreck please behave yourself," Ororo groaned. "You **can **do that right?"

"Starting with **not** getting drunk, **not **taking your clothes off," Xavier made out a list. "And certainly **not** telling any crude crass bar stories."

"Really? I thought that last one I **could** do," Shipwreck said. "I got some good ones."

"No! **No one** wants to hear them!" Xavier snapped. "So do not, I repeat, do **not **tell any!"

"All right, all right," Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "Don't get your panties in a twist. I'll be on my best behavior!"

"That's not exactly saying much," Ororo gave him a look.

"With that being said I'm going to scout the perimeter," Low Light went off.

"I'm off to scout out the buffet," Shipwreck went off.

"Way to stick by your target Shipwreck!" Cover Girl called after him. "I'd better go with him. The man eats like I pig. No wait, pigs have **better manners!"** She went off after him.

"We might as well take advantage of this opportunity," Ororo advised Xavier.

However to their surprise most people simply walked past them or refused to acknowledge them. "Oh there's Donald! Donald! Donald?" Xavier called out to old friends but no one seemed interested in talking to him. "I don't understand. We used to go to class together. And Gerald over there just walked by me as if he never saw me before! We used to play rugby together. I wonder if they've forgotten me?"

"Oh they remember **you **all right," A portly Englishman with a thick silver head of hair and an equally thick mustache walked up to him. "They just don't want to be **associated **with you."

"Randall Winkston," Xavier remembered the biologist. "Are you saying that everyone here won't speak to me because I'm a mutant?"

"No, not everyone. Some of us won't talk to you because we simply hate your guts for the way you acted at school," Randall said. "You always were such a smug little bastard. Thought you knew everything just because you were a few years younger than the rest of us."

"Huh, in other words **nothing's** changed over the years," Shipwreck chuckled as he walked up to them.

"Good lord! Shipwreck is that **you?**" Randall blinked.

"You **know** him?" Xavier was stunned.

"Winkie?" Shipwreck blinked. "Hey long time no see! How long has it been?"

"Oh at least sixteen years old chap," Randall clapped Shipwreck on the back. "You look good as ever you old sea dog!"

"Winkie?" Xavier asked. "Did you just call him **Winkie?"**

"Yeah, it's kind of a long story," Shipwreck said. "One of those crude crass bar stories that nobody wants to hear."

"I want to hear it," Xavier said.

"No, no…" Shipwreck smirked. "I promised to be on my best behavior and behave I shall. So **no** bar stories."

"Hold on a second," Ororo held up her hand. "You met Dr. Randall Winkson in a **bar?"**

"Oh no, no, no my dear lady," Randall chucked. "We met in the South Pacific. I was on an expedition there where my ship was besieged by river pirates. Well I thought I and my crew were goners until this remarkable young man single handedly rescued us."

"Oh it was nothing," Shipwreck shrugged. "I mean any red blooded Navy man could fight off two dozen river pirates with a pistol, a knife and a can of deodorant."

"Shipwreck? Is that you?" A tall tanned man with a dark mustache walked up to them. "It is you! Good to see you!"

"Jefferson Black?" Shipwreck blinked. "Hey Blackie! How are you doing?"

"The famous archeologist?" Ororo was shocked.

"Yeah Blackie and I go way back. A few years ago Cobra kidnapped him along with a whole bunch of other scientists in one of their stupid take over the world schemes," Shipwreck explained. "They do that every couple of years in order to build some kind of brain trust since Cobra Commander don't have a brain and the rest of his goons ain't playin' with a full deck."

"We discovered we had a lot in common and over the years we've kept in touch," Black told them.

"Black, I thought the only hobby you ever had was **drinking**," A red headed Irish man with a thick beard walked up to them.

"That's what we have in common," Shipwreck said. "Parsons! You old devil! You're here too?"

"But of course!" Edmund Parsons the poet slapped Shipwreck on the shoulder. "How have you been old boy?"

"You're Edmund Parsons the famous poet!" Ororo was stunned.

"You know him **too?**" Xavier was stunned.

"Know him? You know one of my most famous poems, Ramblings of A Sailor Wandering in Ireland?" Parsons asked. "Originally I was going to title it Shipwreck's Ramblings While Wandering in the Bars in Ireland."

"Yeah but he didn't want the cops to know what we were doing? Am I right?" Shipwreck laughed. Both men laughed wildly.

"How do you know…?" Xavier asked.

"Oh it's a long story," Parsons began. "You see…"

"Hold on a second," Shipwreck stopped him. "Can't tell him. It's a **crass bar** **story.** And we all know how Xavier **hates** those."

"Don't get me started on that!" Another man walked over. "We all remember how much of a party pooper Xavier was! He used to remind our professors to give us homework!"

"Hey Ingers! How's it hanging!" Shipwreck slapped him on the shoulder. "I didn't know you would be here too!"

"I told you that he'd be here before we left!" Xavier snapped.

"Like anyone ever **listens** to what he says," Shipwreck snickered to the others. They laughed. Xavier was feeling rather perturbed at the moment.

"Hold on here comes one of our other colleagues who has to meet you," Randall waved over a charming older woman. "Dr. Burkhart! Come here. There's someone I want you to meet."

"Lady Doomsday?" Shipwreck blinked. "Is that you?"

"Good lord is that you Shipwreck?" Dr. Burkhart blinked.

"Lady Doomsday?" Xavier asked. "Why do you call her **that?**"

"Because that was her code name on the mission we had years ago to protect her," Shipwreck explained. "It was kind of a top secret thing."

"The **military** was providing her protection?" Xavier was shocked.

"I was skeptical at first but they did save me from Cobra," Dr. Burkhart admitted. "And they helped take down that renegade colonel who was really responsible for the whole weapon of destruction mess."

"I never heard about this," Ororo said.

"Of course not it was a top secret mission," Shipwreck told her. "Just like the one where we had to rescue that botanist Idleson over there from Cobra when they wanted to steal her research."

"Yoo Hoo! Shipwreck! Over here darling!" The older woman waved an arm at her. "You handsome stud you!"

"Ha ha…" Shipwreck laughed nervously. "She's a very affectionate person. Nothing really happened it's just when she gets a drink or two in her…Never mind. That's **another **bar story you don't want to know about."

"You got **that** right! This is so surreal," Ororo blinked.

"Is there anyone here you **don't** know Shipwreck?" Xavier asked.

"I don't know the guy at the bar serving drinks," Shipwreck pointed. "Let's acquaint ourselves shall we?"

"Good idea! Come on! Look there's Astin!" Parsons pointed. "Shipwreck let's see if you can get him to pay for all our drinks like you did that time in Dublin!"

"Well I like a challenge," Shipwreck grinned as he walked over with all the other members of his fan club, leaving Ororo and Xavier alone.

"This can not be happening," Xavier blinked. "Ororo please tell me that we are trapped inside some kind of demented alternate dimension?"

"I'm afraid not," Ororo sighed.

"Maybe some mutant with mind control powers…?"

"Professor, Shipwreck doesn't **have** a mind," Ororo pointed out.

"Right that was grasping at straws," Xavier sighed. "What am I saying? So Shipwreck **happens **to know a few people here? GI Joe is well known. And Cobra kidnaps scientists like they collect baseball cards. Of **course** one or two of them would have heard of Shipwreck!"

"That's right Professor," Ororo told him. "This is **your **night here. These are the people you went to college with. They are educated and highly respected. What could they have in common with Shipwreck?"

"Lord Norman Smythe-Smythe," Someone announced.

"NORM!" Shipwreck shouted. "You old rascal! Come on over here and have a drink!"

"I believe I need one as well," Xavier groaned.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"All right I want everyone to settle down," Hank called out to the students gathered in the auditorium. "Now here are the rules for an orderly debate. Each candidate will be asked a question and will have three minutes to respond. After the debate all the students will get to vote."

"Yay!" Todd cheered.

"Let me rephrase that," Hank rolled his eyes. "All the students from the Xavier Institute and **only** the Xavier Institute will vote!"

"That's okay," Fred called out. He had a huge tub of popcorn. "We're just here to see the show!"

"Fine," Hank sighed. He pointed to the students at the podiums. "Now here are your candidates. Kitty Pryde, Kurt Wagner, Robert Drake, Tabitha Smith and Penny."

"Meep?" Penny made a little squeal as she looked wide eyed behind the podium.

"Oh this is gonna be good," Rogue chuckled.

"All right, settle down," Hank made a motion. "I will ask the first question and it is for all the canditates. Explain why are you the best candidate for Student Body President and outline your goals."

"Beastie I believe that is **not **a question. That's a statement," Tabitha told him.

"It's not a statement Tabitha," Hank said.

"It is a statement," Tabitha said. "You didn't have that question mark thingy sound at the end of your voice."

"She's got a point there," Logan called out.

"It was a question," Hank told them.

"Well it sounded like a statement to me," Tabitha said.

"Me too," Kurt nodded.

"That was definitely a statement," Kitty agreed.

"Yeah Beast what's the point of having rules if you don't follow 'em?" Lance called out.

"Fine! Fine! I will **rephrase** my inquiry!" Hank was already getting a headache. "Can you explain **why** you are the best candidate for Student Body President and **what **are your goals?"

"That's better," Tabitha nodded.

"Kitty you will speak first," Hank began.

"How come **she** gets to talk first?" Bobby asked.

"Because she's first in order," Hank told her.

"What because she's the furthest down?" Bobby asked.

"Yes! It goes Kitty, me," Kurt told him. "You, Tabby then Penny!"

"Why in that order?" Bobby asked.

"Because if we did it the other way around and have Penny go first we'd be here all **night **waiting for her to say something!" Kitty snapped. "Can I go now?"

"That's why you wanted that podium isn't it?" Bobby snapped. "No wonder you shoved me away from it."

"I did **not** shove you!" Kitty snapped.

"Yes you did!" Bobby snapped.

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Hank shouted.

"What's the matter Beast?" Logan called out. "You wanted a debate and they were having one!"

"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?" Hank glared at Logan. "Kitty go ahead and answer the question."

"Well if I were elected student body president," Kitty began. "I'd work on making the Institute a better place for all the students. Give everyone more of an input on making decisions. And I'd make life a bit more fun here. Like instituting theme days. You know: Funny Hat Day, Pizza Day, Marti Gras Day. I'd also start a cooking club."

"Which would lead to the creation of Ptomaine Poisoning Day," Bobby quipped. "Salmonella Day. Emergency Room Day…"

"Shut up Bobby! I got this podium fair and square! Deal with it!" Kitty snapped.

"Let's just go ahead now to Kurt shall we?" Hank sighed.

"But my three minutes aren't up yet!" Kitty protested.

"They are now!" Logan told her. "Go on Elf!"

"Thank you," Kurt smoothed his hair and grinned. "Fellow Students! I my promise to all of you is to bring more fun to the Institute! A dance party every Friday! Less homework! More days off from Danger Room practice!"

"Kurt you can't promise that!" Hank snapped. "What kind of candidate are you making promises you can't keep?"

"I'd be a real politician," Kurt told him.

"He's got a knack for it you gotta admit," Scott called out.

"Not you too Scott!" Hank groaned.

"Oh and I'd personally start a new school policy **banning** Kitty from cooking ever again!" Kurt added.

"That one might pass," Logan remarked.

"HEY!" Kitty snapped.

"Politics is a rough game," Bobby snapped. "Deal with it."

"Okay Bobby you're up," Hank felt control slipping away.

"Guys, you know me! You love me! Let's party!" Bobby grinned.

"And…?" Scott asked.

"And that's it," Bobby said.

"Strong platform you have there," Hank sighed. "Tabitha you're up!"

"If I am elected your class president," Tabitha said. "I guarantee that you will never have to sit through another boring meeting like this again!"

"I wouldn't call it boring," Lance called out.

"Yeah this is real entertaining!" Todd agreed. "Pass the popcorn Freddy."

"Okay Penny what's **your** answer?" Hank sighed. Penny stood there blinking. "Just jump in at any time."

"I'll take this one!" Pyro leapt up. "Penny prefers to **listen** to her constituents instead of lecturing them!"

"Considering the fact that she can't even talk that's all she **can** do!" Scott groaned.

"Can he **do** that?" Kitty asked. "Talk for Penny I mean?"

"No!" Hank snapped. "Let's open the floor for questions shall we?"

"How's this for a question?" Lance called out. "Kitty! How can you expect people to trust you to make important decisions when you can't even decide between two guys you like?"

"Shut up Lance!" Kitty snapped. "You don't even go to this school so I don't think I have to answer that!"

"Actually **I **would like to know the answer to **that** question!" Peter raised his hand.

"Here we go," Tabitha snickered. "I knew her personal life would torpedo her!"

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you Boom Boom!" Kitty snapped at her. "At least I never took my top off to try and seduce a guy!"

"What about the time you ran naked in a movie theater?" Pyro asked.

"THAT WAS YOU IN MY BODY YOU CREEP!" Kitty screamed.

"Oh right…" Pyro scratched his head. "That was also the night I learned that Iceman had a crush on me."

"I DO NOT!" Bobby screamed. "That was Angelica in my body!"

"Sure it was," Pyro rolled his eyes. "That's what they **all **say!"

"Who are they?" Bobby snapped. "The other voices in your head?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" Pyro blinked.

"I think we are getting off track here," Hank interrupted. "Let's have someone ask a different question. Ray?"

"Yeah my question is why the hell are you people doing this?" Ray asked. "What? You didn't get enough of the popularity contest back at Bayville High?"

"Student president is **not **a popularity contest," Kitty said.

"Since when?" Bobby asked. "That's why I'm running."

"Yeah me too," Kurt agreed.

"That what I thought," Tabitha agreed.

"No it isn't! Being President is a lot of work!" Kitty snapped.

"What kind of work are we talking about here?" Ray asked.

"Well you uh…" Kitty began. "Hold on a second…I know it has something to do with Homecoming Dances…"

"Kitty we don't have homecoming dances," Tabitha told her. "Or any real dances for that matter. Except for the ones every now and then when we get bored and half of us are filled with sugar. So the only thing to do is turn on the tunes so the adults can sneak off to the study and have a drink."

"Oh," Kitty blinked. "I guess you're right Ray, it is just a popularity contest. Sorry."

"Penny your thoughts on the subject?" Hank sighed. Penny was trying to eat the microphone. "Interesting point of view. Next question! Please!"

"Okay here's another one," Tabitha said. "Kitty if it is a popularity contest why are you running? Nobody's crazy enough to vote for you."

"WHAT? What do you mean?' Kitty snapped. "People like me!"

"They do?" Lance called out.

"Shut up Lance!" Kitty snapped.

"See that's part of the problem right there," Tabitha said. "Between your love life, your lousy cooking and your driving skills being on par with a demolition derby driver's…You got no chance to win this thing. Heck if you won you'd probably do something crazy like make us all eat your cookies you made or something and poison us all!"

"Oh…" Danielle said out loud. "I didn't think of that. Okay I'm voting for Tabitha now."

"YOU'RE MY CAMPAIGN MANAGER!" Kitty snapped. "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR HER!"

"It's a free country," Danielle called out.

"Oh really? I'm not exactly the only one here that has done some damaging stuff here," Kitty said. "How many of you have had something blown up or your pants pulled down by one of Tabitha's time bombs **this week?"**

Everyone raised their hand. "And let's not forget Iceman here and his practical jokes!" Kitty went on.

"Come on Kitty I haven't iced the girl's bathroom in over a month," Bobby protested. "I learned my lesson and I won't do that anymore."

"That's because you started icing up the boy's bathroom!" Peter snapped.

"Yeah!" Roberto snapped.

"What can I say?" Bobby shrugged. "You guys don't hit as hard as the girls do."

"Okay guys it's official," Roberto called out. "After the debate we all beat up Bobby!" A chorus of male voices agreed.

"Well then it looks like I am the only candidate with a clean record," Kurt was proud of himself.

"YOU!" Bobby, Kitty and Tabitha shouted.

"Give me a break!" Tabitha rolled her eyes.

"Or better yet we break **him!"** Bobby added.

"Unbelievable," Kitty shook her head.

"What? What did I do?" Kurt asked.

"What **haven't** you done?" Tabitha looked at him. "You teleport into rooms with the worst timing I have ever seen!"

"I would have gotten a perfect score on Halo if he hadn't popped out and wrecked my concentration!" Bobby added. "The time you teleported into the shower while I was still in there! And Pyro if you say one stupid remark I will **kill** you!"

"You interrupted my kisses with Sammy," Tabitha added.

"And mine with Peter," Kitty added. "And Lance when I was dating him."

"That **last **one I did you a favor," Kurt bristled.

"I am **not** rigging my votes for you," Lance called out.

"And you are like totally a joker and completely irresponsible," Kitty went on. "Face it Kurt you're not **mature **enough to be president."

"Who are **you **kidding Kitty?" Kurt snapped. "You just want to boss everyone around!"

"Yeah you never let anyone else get a word in edgewise as it is," Bobby remarked.

"I am **not **bossy!" Kitty fumed. "SHUT UP!"

"Now I know why Jean insisted on locking herself in the Danger Room for training instead of coming to this," Scott groaned as the students bickered among themselves.

"People settle down!" Hank boomed. "Like it or not you have to choose one of these candidates for president!"

"Some **choice** we have!" Jesse groaned.

"What are you guys going to do?" Tabitha asked. She pointed to Penny who was scratching the podium. "Vote for Penance the Menace over here?"

"At least Penny knows how to keep her mouth shut which is more than what you yahoos can do!" Rogue shouted.

"She also knows better than to freeze another guy's underwear!" Sam shouted and glared at Bobby.

"Freeze a guy's underwear?" Tabitha blinked at Bobby. "Is that why you were so cold the other night when we had our study date?"

"A little too cold," Sam glared at Bobby.

"It was a joke!" Bobby said.

"A stupid joke!" Sam snapped.

"Maybe there **is** some truth to that gay rumor," Kurt chuckled.

"That's it!" Bobby snapped and leapt from his podium to tackle Kurt. "You are **both** going down!"

"Okay new plan guys! We beat up Bobby now!" Ray called out.

Several boys joined in the fight. Logan, Scott and Hank joined in to pull them apart. Then Penny thinking it was a game joined in the fun. Kitty and Tabitha stood to the sidelines screaming at each other.

"Now this is **my** kind of debate!" Fred cheered.

"Reason why this place is a madhouse Number Thirty Five," Rahne rolled her eyes.

"I wonder if it's too late to put Lockheed back on the ballot?" Danielle agreed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Meanwhile back at the reunion Xavier and Ororo were sitting at a large table alone. "Well the food was very good," Ororo was trying to be positive.

"WHOOPIE!" Someone shouted out.

"And apparently the drinks aren't bad either," Xavier grumbled.

"Professor I'm sure **someone **will come over and talk to you," Ororo told him.

"One two three la conga! One two three la conga!" Shipwreck called out at the head of a conga line. "Everybody dance!"

"Eventually…" Ororo groaned. "Look over there! That man isn't dancing."

"That's because he's passed out," Xavier gave her a look. "While you went to powder your nose he made a bar bet with Shipwreck and before I knew it he was throwing up on my shoes."

"Oh dear…" Ororo sighed. "Where are Low Light and Cover Girl?"

"Hiding outside on the pretext of scouting the perimeter," Xavier sighed.

"They're not are they?" Ororo asked. Xavier shook his head. "Please tell me they are making out or doing **something **normal."

"They have a bet going on," Xavier said in a deadpanned voice. "How many fish each one of them can shoot in the lake. Low Light is ahead by three fish and a tin can."

"That's normal for **them**," Ororo admitted.

"This was supposed to be a night of intelligent conversation, reminiscing and sophistication," Xavier sighed. "Instead it's turned into **Shipwreck's Animal House Party.** So much for my glorious return and my one chance to impress everyone."

"What do you mean?" Ororo asked.

"Randall was right," Xavier sighed. "I was a bit of a know it all in college. I was intimidated being so young in a challenging environment. So I had kind of a defensive attitude. I didn't exactly make many friends outside of Moira. Years later when I matured I regretted my actions. I thought tonight I could put the past behind me. That everyone would see me as an intelligent man of reason. Not the uptight little know it all from college."

"Conga! Conga! Conga!" Shipwreck danced past them. "Hey! Idleson watch those hands! At least not in front of all these people! CONGA!"

"That's obviously **not** going to happen," Xavier sighed.

"Look why don't you have a talk with Shipwreck?" Ororo advised. "Tell him what you told me. Maybe he can help you break the ice with your peers?"

"WHAHOOOOOOO!"

"He's certainly good at making a party memorable," Ororo groaned.

"Maybe you're right," Xavier sighed. "Shipwreck is a reasonable man. Perhaps he and I can talk and come to some kind of understanding?"

"OKAY EVERYONE! IT'S TIME FOR SALAMI LIMBO!" Shipwreck called out to a chorus of cheers.

"On the other hand…" Xavier thought twice. "Asking Shipwreck for advice about being the life of the party is kind of like asking Satan for a personal tour of Hell."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Later that evening Xavier and Ororo returned to the Institute. They met up with Logan and Hank in the kitchen. "Charles, Ororo you're back early. How was your evening?" Hank asked.

"A complete nightmare," Xavier sighed.

"What did Shipwreck do?" Logan asked.

"Actually he was rather well behaved considering," Ororo sighed. "That was the problem."

"You saying Shipwreck actually fit in there?" Logan asked.

"Fit in? They elected him **Honorary Class President!"** Xavier snapped.

"It turns out a lot of Charles' former classmates had already met Shipwreck," Ororo explained. "In **bars** all over the world."

"That explains it," Hank blinked. "No wonder you're so upset."

"To be fair after the conga line broke up he did try to include me in the party," Xavier sighed. "Unfortunately his idea of cheering me up was trying to **set me up** with a drunken female botanist who kept insisting that carnations were waging a secret war for freedom against the evil dandelion empire. I always thought that Idleson had a few flowers missing from her garden."

"I was wondering why you smelled like vomit," Logan admitted.

"I just want to take a shower and forget the whole thing. Oh by the way who won the student elections?" Xavier asked.

"Well…" Hank began.

Just then Penny ran in happily yapping. Her face was covered in cake and she was waving a banner happily. "May I introduce Mademoiselle President," Hank gestured.

"HER?" Ororo was stunned. "But how…? How could **she** win?"

"Let's just say all the other candidates kind of shot themselves in the foot during the debate," Hank sighed. "Actually Tabitha used her powers to shoot Bobby in the foot during the brawl which erupted **during** the debate."

"No wonder Penny won," Ororo blinked.

"By a landslide," Logan groaned. "Something tells me the student council is gonna get disbanded by the time the kids get out of the infirmary."

"I'm afraid you're right, Logan," Hank sighed. "I don't think our students are ready for self governing yet."

"You think?" Logan gave him a look. "I told you this was a stupid idea!"

"Considering **my** stupid idea of going to my college reunion it's the perfect end to a not so perfect evening," Xavier sighed. "All right who's turn is it to coral Penny?"

"Who knows?" Logan groaned. "Who cares because I'm not going to do it!"

"Well one of us has to do it," Ororo gave him a look.

"How about a nice relaxing game of rock, paper, matches to determine the winner?" Hank asked.

"Dare I ask how that can be relaxing?" Ororo asked.

"I don't know," Xavier had a look in his eye. "The thought of a certain **sailor** on fire does have some appeal!"


End file.
